Abstinence IS realistic! – Updated 2-1-10
Written by Feb 23, 2009, 10:35 pm
8 Comments • Related Topics: Dating, Family, Sex Education, Sexuality
Hopefully, teenage girls weren’t listening to Fox News last week when Sarah Palin’s daughter, Bristol Palin told Greta Van Susteren that abstinence isn’t realistic. (see video below) Not exactly the role model we want our daughters to pattern themselves after.
“I think abstinence is, I don’t know how to put it — like, the main — everyone should be abstinent or whatever, but it’s not realistic at all…” – new mom Bristol Palin.
How can parents raise their children to abstain from sex when they are getting so many messages not to do so? Some of their schools provide free condoms and birth control, kids are having sex on tv and in the movies, and many parents have also bought the lie that abstinence isn’t realistic so why teach it?
I’m a strong believer that it IS possible to raise children to abstain from sex. I’ve seen the results in my own family. It takes a combination of rules, a reason for the rules, interactive parental guidance and plenty of prayer!
The goal is not to make it easy for our children to fall into temptation and succumb to their natural desires. These days with parents working out of the home, there is no one left to supervise the children when they get out of school. In California alone in 2006 statistics there were over a million teens left unsupervised between the hours of 2-6pm, usually during the time between school getting out and parents arriving home from work.
So even in homes where there are set rules, who’s around to enforce them? What kind of rules should be set? Rules for the Christian family must always start with the bible. If children can learn to love God by obeying Him, then they must know what God teaches about sex outside of marriage.
(I’ve dedicated an entire post to teaching children to abstain from sex in an article I wrote last year titled: No Condoms, No Pills! Part 2)
Rules for kids but what about us older singles? How do we abstain and is it even realistic for us to do so? Yes it is. If we believe what the bible teaches about sexual immorality, then we can choose to do what is right by making a commitment to not engage in sexual immorality and then avoiding at all costs tempting situations!
Abstinence. Something that our nation avoids as a worthwhile pursuit. Something that many parents have given up teaching their children about. Something that Planned Parenthood thinks is the most ridiculous subject on earth. And something that God would smile at us if we believe it can be done!
UPDATE 2/1/10: - Bristol Palin takes vow of celibacy
© 2009 – 2010, Carlotta Morrow. All rights reserved.
Tags: abstinence, Bristol Paliln, pre-marital sex, Sexuality
Carlotta
Phil
Neil
Kevin Kaatz
February 24th 2009 on 9:54 am
Yes, abstinence IS realistic. My wife managed to make it into the latter half of her 20s as a virgin (truly… not “technical”), and she had plenty of opportunities, as she had a normal libido, is very attractive, and was living in population centers. Yet, she somehow managed it. And no, we aren’t in our 40s or older, so it isn’t like this was 30 years ago.
Twitter: christocentric
February 24th 2009 on 12:30 pm
Ken, your wife sounds like my two daughters. They are both in their early 20′s and very attractive young girls. Both girls born in the Los Angeles area and raised in San Diego so they too have had plenty of opportunities. I don’t like asking them “are you still a virgin?” but because they voluntarily tell me they are is the only way I know.
In my family having sex was breaking the “rules” – both the family’s and God’s rules! So there would be consequences like any other rule-breaking in the home. Parents are going in the opposite direction with their children when it comes to sex. They “allow” their children to have sex by telling them that it’s okay and just protect themselves. It’s that mindset that would have many teens believe that abstaining isn’t realistic because not even their parents expect them to do so!
It has to start with us and end with us! Now that my children are adults, it’s on them. They are responsible for making their own decisions and face their own consequences. I’m just glad that I can say I was able to raise children through their teen years that were able to abstain!
February 24th 2009 on 12:32 pm
Yes, we should pursue that! Lots of unsupervised time + unprecented sexual images (TV, ads, porn, how kids dress, etc.) = massive temptation. They need boundaries, some supervision, some tactics to avoid temptaton (e.g., be alone in groups), etc.
Twitter: christocentric
February 24th 2009 on 1:04 pm
Totally agree Neil!
My kids complained during their high school years how I was so tough on them and was the meanest mom in the whole neighborhood! If I didn’t like their friends, then they couldn’t spend time with those friends – away from my supervision.
The things they watched on TV, their music, their clothes they wore all had to be monitored. As they got older, they were given more leeway but only according to their maturity.
Tough on them then, but now as young adults they appreciate that toughness now because of how it has made them to be as responsible young adults today!
I still have a teen left at home who I’m doing battle with right now, and we both can’t wait until he’s gone for good!
March 3rd 2009 on 4:23 pm
Hi there,
You said,
“I’m a strong believer that it IS possible to raise children to abstain from sex. I’ve seen the results in my own family. It takes a combination of rules, a reason for the rules, interactive parental guidance and plenty of prayer! ”
Now, if only more parents in today’s society were to get ahold of that profound insight and truth.
To suggest that to abstain isn’t realistic you’ve just underestimated all of what the works of Jesus Christ on the cross testifies for us.
Twitter: christocentric
March 3rd 2009 on 5:15 pm
Janey, I couldn’t agree with you more! If more parents were to understand that to question one’s ability to abstain is questioning God, how many would fall down and ask forgiveness for their lack of faith!
You understand quite well!
March 4th 2009 on 11:31 pm
Thanks
I know brokenness. I know temptation, I know what moral failure is like. I also know the fight to break free from addictions and an eating disorder.
If Christ can empower me to walk away from addictions, eating disorder, and lesbianism … not just lesbianism but more of a transgender identity … for Christ to empower me to embrace the true femenine and learn to identify as a woman … if Christ can empower me walk free from all of that I truly believe that Christ can empower anybody who makes the choice to honour Him in all that they say and do.
The same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead is the same spirit who makes His dwellng place within us. A mentor of mine once said to me that the church spends so much time focusing on who we are in Christ and doesn’t actually focus enough on who Christ is in us.
What would happen if an entire generation were to gain a revelation on what it means for us to have Christ in us?
There would be an entire generation that would begin to walk in the resurrection power of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Now I’m all fired up! And I needed that tonight. Again, thanks!
Twitter: christocentric
March 4th 2009 on 11:35 pm
No, thank YOU Janey! You have me all fired up now after that great commentary!